Yes, Master
by Skyla Moon
Summary: Three years has passed since Slade infected the Titans with probes and Robin is still serving as his apprentice.
1. Prologue

**_Disclaimer: _**No, the characters are not mine. And the quote isn't either. They belong to the writers of the comic book and the quote to the show and probably other people who are still not me.

_Prologue_

"If you join me, if you swear to serve me, if you never speak to your friends again, I will allow them to live. But, if you disobey, even the smallest request, I will annihilate them, Robin, and I'll make you watch!"

Slade had told me those words nearly three years ago. I had never forgotten them. Slade had made sure of that when I had tested him. I had pushed against his limits, but as soon as he threatened the lives of my friends, I had deflated instantly. I would always put my life before theirs.

Always.

I ran my thumb against the crack in the Titan Communicator. Slade had hurled it against a wall one night when he had seen me looking at it. I had done my best to piece it back together, but it would never work again. It was broken, just as my friendship was.

Perhaps I should just end it all. I had nothing to live for. I wouldn't, just because I knew that if I killed myself, I would be killing my friends as well. Slade would kill them just for the pleasure of hearing them scream.

I had thought, once, that I would be able to get away from him. That was when Trigon had made his appearance. Slade had been completely immersed in doing his will, but things had gone quickly from bad to worse between the two of them when Trigon had decided not to honor his end of the bargain.

I had disobeyed Slade severely that night in helping the people I still dared to call my friends. I could not simply abandon them, not when they needed help so badly.

My friends had never known who had saved Raven that day. I took care that they never saw more than a cloaked figure.

I longed to tell them why I had betrayed them, but Slade would have killed them for sure if I had done so. He was still very… displeased with what I had done that night, and he had made sure I had felt his anger for months after the incident.

I was, after all, his apprentice.


	2. Chapter One

**_  
Disclaimer:_** I still don't own the characters.

_Chapter One_

"Robin," Slade drawled listlessly in his cold, heartless voice. My head shot up, my heart thundering erratically in fear. "Stand up, Robin." he ordered.

I complied, my hand clenched around the communicator in a defiant grip. Slade grabbed my chin roughly, forcing my eyes to meet the single sinister eye that glared out from behind his mask. "What is this, Robin?" he asked, yanking the communicator from my hand. "I believe I told you to get rid of this, did I not?"

"Yes," I growled. The back of his hand connected with my jaw suddenly, and I stumbled backwards, bringing a hand to my stinging cheek.

"What did you say?" he demanded.

"Yes, _Master_." I spat, bringing myself to full height. I had grown, but I was still not quite as tall as he.

We stared at each other, a contest of wills to see who would crumble first, and he chuckled. "Good, Robin. You haven't lost your fire. You're more like I am than you know. It's quite admirable."

"Bastard!" I shouted, launching myself at him. He caught me easily and drove his fist into my stomach. As I doubled over, he grabbed my shoulders and whispered in my ear, "Now, now, Robin, don't get carried away." He released me and I knelt down, clutching my stomach and trying to draw a breath. He kicked me viciously in the side, sending me rolling across the floor.

"I would advise you not to forget your place. Remember what you gamble with. We will talk of this later. I expect you at breakfast in five minutes." He strode out of the small room, closing the door firmly behind him.

I tried my best to dampen my rage as I grudgingly pulled on the uniform that had replaced my Titan colors. In the walk to breakfast, instead of becoming calmer, I became more infuriated with each step. I felt as if I was about to explode when I stepped into the dining hall and saw Slade there. He motioned me to a chair opposite him. I sat down in it as calmly as I could. I stared at the plate of food in front of me rather than risk looking at his face.

"You may eat."

My lip curled, but I picked up my fork and proceeded to forcefully mutilate my eggs anyway. I knew if I did not eat, I would pay for it later because of whatever Slade had undoubtedly planned for me that day. I finished quickly, but I still refused to look at the man I hated more anything.

"This is not the first time you've disobeyed me, Robin." I stayed silent, my rage quenched by the mounting dread growing in my heart. The tone of his voice had changed significantly, sending shivers crawling up my spine. "Perhaps it is time I show you your place, since you seem determined to keep forgetting it. Just the press of a button, Robin. It's that easy."

I finally looked at him, my mouth as dry as ash. My palms were sweating. He wasn't bluffing. "No, please, you can't!" I croaked.

"Oh?" his voice lilting in amusement. "And why is that?"

"Please," I repeated. "I'll do anything. I swear."

"Kneel before me."

I swallowed my pride and, shaking, I stood. Hesitantly, I walked before him. Dropping to my knees, I spread my hands out to my sides, palms up, in a sign of obeisance and bowed my head.

He grabbed my hair roughly, twisting it painfully until I cried out. He bent over me and snarled, "You are _mine_!" He shoved me to one side and stood up. "You will do as I say!"

"Yes, Master." I whispered, defeated. _For the Titans_, I reminded myself. Only for them would I bow to and obey Slade Wilson. I longed so badly to drive a dagger through his blackened heart, but every time I fought him, he proved once more who was stronger and who held the power. He would beat me near insensible and he would laugh as I struggled time and again to rise to my feet to face him.

In those moments, I hated myself more than I hated him. I hated the fact that no matter how hard I tried, Slade always beat me down, his eye glaring down at me as if I were no more than an ant in his way. I could have sworn that, under his mask, he smirked down at me arrogantly, flaunting his superiority over me.

How I _loathed_ him. I detested losing to him and he knew it. He knew it because it was one of the several traits we shared. The things I despised about myself were the very things I abhorred about him.

"Come, Robin, I have something to show you."

Reluctantly, I rose to my feet and followed him deeper into the labyrinths of his lair. Finally, he brought me to a dark room. He shut the door behind me, enclosing us in total darkness. I tried once more to quell the panic rising in me as he grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me forward.

"Slade, what—"

"Silence!" he interrupted me, and finally propelled me into another dark chamber. I heard the click of a door closing and then the lights flickered on, illuminating the room. I had never been here before, but he gave me little time to gawk at my surroundings.

"Sit down." he ordered and took a chair beside a smooth, black desk. I sat down on the other side of the desk, my stomach tying itself into knots. He propped his chin up in one hand and looked at me.

"Tell me, Robin, what do you know of the Titans since you left their company?"

His question surprised me. For almost a year, I had done my best to watch the Titans when I could until Slade had started demanding more and more of my time and I could only catch glimpses of them every so often. I suspected he had kept me busier because he had found out what I had been doing, but he had never outwardly punished me for it. I believed it was because he found it amusing.

I took a deep breath and relayed to him what I knew. After they had realized I would not be coming back, things quickly fell to pieces. The group had become disjointed and tempers had been high. Fights were sparked from nothing. It had nearly killed me to see them tear themselves apart from the inside out.

After a while, however, things had stabilized. The city had been nearly demolished from the outbreak of crime, and the Titans had come to the conclusion that, whether I was there or not, they had to stick together or the city would be lost to the corrupt and power-hungry. In the last few days I had been able to watch them regularly, Raven had assumed the role of leader.

"Well-done, Robin," Slade said after my account. "But there is one thing you missed." Abruptly, the visage of a blonde-haired girl appeared on a giant screen behind him. "Her name is Terra. She had a brief encounter with the Titans, left, and returned several months later. In those months, she learned… adequately… to control her powers. Since then, she has taken your place on the team." He paused, gauging my reaction, before speaking again. "However, she is still very headstrong and has not tapped the deepest resources of her power yet. She seems to keep her distance from the other Titans, especially Raven. They quarrel often, much like you and I."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked stiffly.

"It's simple, really. I want you to bring her to me."

He shocked me again. Aside from the first few tasks he had assigned to me, most of what he had me do had nothing at all to do with the Titans. Most of the time I had had to travel far out of the city to do what he asked of me. He had done that for a reason, but still allowed me my few glances of the Titans when I could.

I could feel my hands shaking. He… he would let me near them. I could see them… see her, the one person I had missed the most. I felt a stab in my heart. There had to be something else. It was a trick. Slade was lying to get my hopes up. He had to be.

He pulled out a stack of papers from the desk and handed them to me. "I expect you to read through these." I looked at them briefly and nodded.

I could sense his sinister smile from beneath his mask. "You will enjoy this task won't you, Robin?" he drew his words out cruelly. He knew I would. He always knew, but I nodded in assent anyway.

He chuckled mirthlessly. "Good." He shoved his chair backwards and walked until he stood behind me. I sat still, paralyzed in my seat. I jumped a little as his steel gloves dropped on my shoulders. I tried to force my breathing to a normal pace.

"_I_ look forward to it." he murmured seductively in my ear. I felt sick, having him so close to me. It was nearly a relief when he hauled me to my feet once more and guided me through the dark rooms and into the dimly lit hallway.

Once I was back in my room, I trembled, this time with excitement. I would see them again. Finally, I would see them!

Then I remembered why I _hadn't_ seen them. Slade. Always Slade. I was their enemy. They would… hate me.

But still, I would be able to see them, even if they would not look upon me with the same fond eyes I looked upon them with.

I sank down onto my bed, setting the papers beside me and burying my face in my hands. Despair flooded through me. I wanted things to be like they were three years ago. I wanted to laugh and smile and joke around with my friends.

They would never smile with me again. It was the price I had paid for their lives.


	3. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

_Chapter Two_

Sighing, I picked up the files on Terra and read through them half-heartedly. The first few were as interesting as watching a rock for three days straight. They contained general information – birthday, place of birth, who her parents were… followed by some information about her medical history, then her childhood, and finally her time with the Titans – what she did often, who she associated with, what she ate frequently, etc.

I set the papers on my nightstand to look at more thoroughly later. I settled back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I wondered uneasily if Slade kept such detailed files on me. It wouldn't surprise me if he did.

Gently, I probed the area where he had struck my face and winced. It would leave an impressive bruise. There had been a lot of force behind his blow, his metal gloves had done nothing to soften it. I was lucky I had not lost any teeth.

I got up and walked to the small bathroom that was adjacent to the bedroom. I drenched a rag in icy water, rang it out slightly, and pressed it to my cheek before returning to my bed. It wouldn't work as well as ice, but it would have to do. I had no idea where to find any ice. It was pathetic, really. I had lived here for three years and _still_ had no idea how to find my way around half the corridors. The place was gigantic. It didn't help that the entire thing was underground. If the lights went out, I'd probably be lost for days.

I wondered suddenly how Slade could afford the building. I decided I was probably better off not knowing.

I grimaced and went to soak my rag again. When I re-entered the room, I saw Slade leaning casually against the wall. "Why are you here?"

"This is my house, dear boy. Do I need a reason to be in it?"

"No, I'm sorry for questioning you." How it _burned_ to say those words to him.

"You should curb that flippant tongue of yours before you say something you'll regret. Here, I brought you something." He stepped closer to me and pressed something cold against my cheek. I lifted up a hand to hold it there myself, but he didn't let go.

"Thanks." I muttered, but still he did not leave. I clenched my free hand and gazed up at him. His eye almost looked… kind. Whatever it was, however, it left as soon as it had come. Probably just a trick of the light.

He removed his hand at last. "I expect you at weapons practice after lunch. You need more training before you leave."

Just as he had ordered, I reported to the training room later that day. I had eaten very little – that was one thing I had learned early on. Slade's vigorous training sessions rarely allowed much to stay in my stomach.

I pulled the metal staff from my utility belt and twirled it idly in my fingers. I wondered what he had planned for the day.

I wandered deeper into the room. It doubled as an elite obstacle course. Every time I entered the room, it always seemed different. I could never figure out how he kept changing it around so much. Well, I never got bored, that was for sure.

I inched my way around a large boulder and walked across a wooden plank that spanned a small crevice. It would probably reach no higher than my waist if I were to fall in it. I continued on.

It was the faintest of sounds that alerted me to Slade's presence. I spun around and raised my staff just in time to deflect a blow he had aimed for my head. His staff hit mine with a resounding clang and he jumped backwards. "Good. Now, let's begin."

He crouched and sprang at me. I countered swiftly, but he had the advantage and pressed it, forcing me to continue countering instead of making my own attack.

"One, two, faster, Robin!" he yelled, his voice punctuated by the sharp ring of metal on metal. He drove me further and further back with each attack. It was all I could do to simply defend myself. "Too slow!" His staff cracked into my left arm.

"ARGH!" I cried out, and attacked him with a renewed intensity. I threw a few attacks at him before his staff landed on my hand, sending my own rod flying. He thrust his staff under my chin, and stopped moments before shattering my esophagus.

"Displeasing, Robin." he said and stepped back. "Again."

I picked up my staff and threw myself at him again, despite my aching arm and hand. I managed to hit him once before he ducked and ran his staff against my leg, knocking my feet out from under me and sending me crashing against the rocky floor.

"Get up!" he snarled.

I sprang up with a yell and attacked him. Our staffs met with sharp, violent clangs. I pressed him then he pressed me, as if we were in some kind of intricate dance.

_Right, left, spin, swing!_ The words sped through my head as swiftly as my actions. I knocked his staff upwards with a vertical slash. He quickly retaliated with another swing towards my head, but I deflected it. My hands tingled from the force of stopping his blow.

I jumped away from him, my chest heaving, and wiped sweat off my forehead. Slade took a neutral stance and studied me. I watched him warily, my muscles tensed, ready for his next attack.

"That's enough for now." he said simply, and turned to go. With a cry, I swung my staff at his vulnerable back, but he had expected it and blocked me easily.

"That was an underhanded little trick, Robin." he snarled. His eye narrowed in approval and his voice returned to its normal purr. "It seems you've learned something from me after all. I'm _exceedingly_ proud of you."

I snarled wordlessly at him. Nevertheless, I retracted my staff. I shoved it back into its rightful place on my belt angrily.

"You're more like I am every day, my… protégé." It chilled me to the bone to know that he was right.

"Once more." I said.

"Later." he replied flatly and walked away. A few moments later, I heard the door open and close.

I clenched my fists in fury. Once again, I was repulsed at how similar we were. What had really scalded me, however, was the epiphany I had come to about a month after he had taken me on as his apprentice. His first few training sessions had been just like fighting him when I had been a Titan. Gradually, he had started pushing me harder and harder, until I realized that before then, he had been holding back on me.

I had grown very quickly under his tutelage, but I could still only hit him a fraction of the times he hit me.

I stalked out of the room in a rage. I was met by an empty, unfamiliar hallway. A light flickered on and off ominously and finally died, throwing part of the corridor into darkness. I had exited out the wrong door. I turned to go back the way I had come, but instead found the door locked. I glared at it balefully, but it still would not open. I turned back to the hallway and stared to my right and left. I had no idea where I was. I turned right, hoping desperately I would end up somewhere familiar.

I was lost. I saw nothing I recognized. I couldn't fathom how Slade found his way around his own maze of a lair. It had taken roughly twenty times of Slade guiding me to my room before I learned the way myself.

I halted before a large, metal door. I reached out to open it twice, dropping my hand both times. I stared at it for a while, trying to figure out why I was so drawn to it. Finally, I lifted my hand, grasped the doorknob, and twisted. The door creaked as it opened, and I stepped inside. The door slammed shut behind me, causing me to jump, but no one was there. It was probably because of the weight of the door, I decided.

The room itself was sparsely decorated. There was little more than a bed and a nightstand. The walls were bare – eerily so. I had the dreadful suspicion that I knew whose room I was in, but no matter how much my conscience told me I should not be there, I could not turn away. Woodenly, I walked over to the nightstand. There was a leather-bound book on top of it. I opened it to a random page and realized it was a journal. Horrified, I found my eyes drifting to the text on the page. The handwriting was neat and orderly, evenly spaced. Every letter looked almost the same, as if written by a machine.

_My apprentice is progressing well. His loyalty to his friends is still existent, but I will break it of him soon enough. I still hear him cry out their names in his sleep at times, but it's less frequent than it once was._

_He is becoming more aggressive in our sessions. I can see the hatred burning in his eyes and it drives him to try harder each time. It's quite amusing. He still hates to lose. It infuriates him so._

_He still has no clear comprehension of what I do for him, no matter how quickly he learns. I…_

A hand fell on my shoulder and gripped it painfully. The journal slid from my fingers and fell haphazardly on the floor.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Slade murmured cruelly in my ear.


	4. Chapter Three

**_Disclaimer:_** Characters still not mine.

_Chapter Three_

"I had no idea you wanted to see my room _this_ badly, Robin." His voice was colder than the center of an iceberg.

"Master, I—"

"I don't want your excuses!" He shoved me forward and I fell onto his bed. I barely had time to turn onto my side before he straddled me, effectively pinning me down with his body. I writhed in his grasp, but he only held me tighter.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean—"

"Shut up!"

Slade was far too close to me. I could feel his body against mine, and I wanted nothing more than to flee the room in fear. I wished desperately to revoke what I had done, but no amount of wishing would change it.

I could hear him breathing behind his mask, and his eye burned into me with more intensity than an inferno. I felt small – exceedingly so – as if I were a spider that he could crush under his boot without a second thought.

His grip on my wrists was far past bruising – I was surprised my bones had not already shattered. I knew that if he applied any more pressure, he _would_ break my wrists.

It was terrifying to be in the complete control of a psychopath.

"You're scared; I can see it in your eyes. It's so strong I can almost _taste_ it. You've never been this afraid of me before, have you?"

I could not tear my gaze from him. I was paralyzed with terror. It had crashed over me in a destructive wave, drowning me in its murderous undercurrents.

"_Answer me_!" Slade yelled, tightening his hands around my wrists, forcing me to cry out.

What I felt was far beyond simple fear. It was something much more than that. It froze me – I could no longer move or fight back against him or convince myself to answer him. Slade was livid with fury, and I had no idea what he would do to me. I was irrevocably under the power of a madman.

It was undoubtedly the most terrifying moment in my life. Trembling, I looked into his eye, my heart fluttering wildly in my chest. I daren't even blink – I feared to break eye contact with him lest it deepen his anger.

"You… I have given you _every_thing! I offer you all I know and you… you have the _nerve_ to go the one place you will _never_ be welcome!" He threw me out of the bed and I collided with the wall painfully. I fell to the floor hard, before trying to make myself as small as possible, curling into a protective ball.

"How _dare_ you?" He drove his steel-toed boot into my back. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I attempted to stifle my cry, as tears of pain spilled down my cheeks. He seized my arm and hauled me to my feet. I could barely stand due to the pain coursing through my back.

Slade snapped my arm in one deft move. He wrested it behind me swiftly, and I screamed. The sickening sound of my own bones breaking filled my ears.

"Get out!" he yelled and hurled me out of the room.

I clutched my broken arm to my chest as I stumbled down the hallway, my head spinning with pain. I ran and ran and still had no idea where I was or where I was going. Eventually, I stopped to lean against a wall. I slid down it, still hugging my broken arm to my chest. It hurt – the pain was a conflagration that consumed my entire limb.

I gave a short, bitter laugh. _Look what has become of the fabled 'Boy Wonder.'_ I scoffed in my head. I despised myself.

_Yes… look what's become of me now._ I buried my face in my knees. _Look what's become of your son, Batman…. _ I felt the tears on my face, and not just from the pain.

How had I let this happen? How had I let Slade win – and keep winning? I was lazy, stupid, foolish… the list would never end.

I would have welcomed the cold embrace of death in that moment as I sank into a pain-induced oblivion.

When I regained consciousness, the pain in my arm had not subsided. If anything, it had gotten worse. I cracked one eye open and saw Slade bending over me. I jumped, and tried to rise off the cold surface I was on. I realized with horror, however, that I was strapped to it. There were thick, leather straps over my chest, waist, thighs, ankles, and two secured my uninjured arm. I could barely move an inch. It was plain Slade didn't want me moving at all.

"Sla—" He cut me off by shoving a thick piece of leather in my mouth.

"This will hurt." He cautioned me emotionlessly. He pressed on my arm slightly and I groaned, trying to twist away, but to no avail. "It hurts, doesn't it? It'll get worse…"

I felt his fingers smooth my hair gently away from my forehead. Warm. His fingers were warm. I looked up at him in confusion. He wasn't wearing his gloves.

He paused a moment to brush his fingertips across my cheek before he lifted his hand from my face. "Bite down. I have to set your arm."

He gave me no more warning before grabbing my broken arm and sliding the bones back into place.

I hadn't thought there could be anything more painful than Slade breaking my arm. I was wrong. He hadn't given me anything to dull the pain of him putting the bones back into place. He was still angry with me. I was lucky he had not decided to kill me and, that he even made an effort to fix my arm.

I was suddenly very grateful for the leather in my mouth. Without it, I probably would have shattered my own teeth. I moaned and struggled against my restraints as he carefully reset my arm. The bindings did not give way – Slade had done his job well in strapping me down.

He finally released me and I collapsed back on the table, all strength gone from my body. Slade took my arm and bound it to something straight and hard. My chest rose and fell laboriously as I tried to will away the fiery pain caused by his manipulation of my arm.

"This will do until I can get you a doctor. You did well, Robin." He took the leather from my mouth and inspected the teeth marks on it. Then he trailed his fingers down my cheek again, and I could almost pretend he did so fondly. Then he inserted a piece of bread in my mouth and left me alone, enclosing me in darkness.

I tested my bonds again, but gave up quickly. Slade knew what he was doing and I doubted that even if I were to escape my confinement on the table, I would find the door locked. Besides, it would only anger Slade more if I tried to escape after what I had already done. I decided it would be best to walk softly around him for the time being.

I slipped back into a restless sleep. The next time I awoke, it was to the feel of muscular arms picking me up and holding me against a warm chest. I opened my eyes blearily. My arm still hurt like hell, but it was now cocooned in a glaring white cast. I started when I realized it was Slade who was carrying me – of course, who else would it be? The feel of his hands on me sent sickening shivers crawling up my spine, but I forced myself to remain still. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done – to let the most despicable man on the face of the earth touch me, much less carry me.

"Good morning, Robin." Slade said as he finally laid me down in my own, familiar bed. He stayed hunched over me, looking into my eyes, and I could see his lips curve into a smirk behind the grates of his mask.

"Good morning… Master." I whispered.

He chuckled. "Nice try, Robin." He seized my chin roughly, the cold metal of his gloves pressing into my skin. "Do you know why I haven't killed you yet?"

"No, Master." My heart was filled with dread upon hearing his answer.

"It's because you're still useful to me. I'd suggest you keep it that way because, while you would be difficult to replace, it wouldn't be impossible. One more 'adventure' like the one the other day, and I swear to you I won't hesitate to press the button that would kill your precious friends before drawing a knife across your throat and watching you die in your own blood and misery. I have no use for an apprentice who does not obey me."

((_Author's Note:_ Hey, guys! I just wanted to let you know that I love you forever for reading my story and not… uh… dying from it… or something. Anyway, I also wanted to apologize for my slow updates. It's because I'm currently working on my original novel and it demands more of my time because the chapters are around 3 or 4 times the length of these… so I'll try to write this as fast as I can and such. Thanks again!))


	5. Chapter Four

(_Author's Note: My deepest apologies, once again, for the horridly slow updates. My novel sucked me in with a burst of inspiration and I had no idea what to do with this one, but now I'm stuck on my novel and have an idea for this. Also, November is National Novel Writing Month so I doubt I'll get anything done on this during that month, so I'll try to get another chapter of this out before then. _

_Also, about the last chapter, yes, the slash was intentional. Grin. Although I doubt there'll be much more of it, I'll warn you if any does come in.)_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters.

Chapter Four

That was the first time Slade had threatened my life in such a blunt manner. It chilled me and I felt shivers crawling up my spine. My breath caught in my throat. I could feel the tips of my fingers quivering, and I didn't trust my voice enough to speak steadily. My mouth was so dry that I doubted I could form the words anyway.

I forced myself to inhale again, my breath sounding far too loud in my own ears. I could have counted each beat of my heart, as I waited in stunned silence, fearing anything he might do or say.

Slade chuckled, before he walked across the room, his footsteps echoing on the floor. The door creaked noisily as he opened it and it closed behind him with a thunderous slam.

I closed my eyes, wishing that it was all just some horrible nightmare and that I would wake from it soon, safe with the Titans again. It was a feeble hope, I knew, but I desperately wanted it to be true. However, when I opened my eyes again, the same cold, unfeeling ceiling glared down at me, mocking my unspoken despair.

I shivered and pulled my blanket up one-handed. My fingers brushed against my cast briefly. It still hurt. I blocked the pain from my mind and tried not to dwell on it. It wouldn't help my situation.

I spiraled down into a fitful sleep wracked with nightmares. I saw my friends lying face-up in neat rows on the blood-red earth, their lifeless eyes staring up lifelessly at the ash-blackened clouds. Slade stood over them, laughing, and from one hand dangled a broken marionette. I looked closer and saw with horror that half of it was dressed in a Titan uniform, while the other half wore Slade's colors. It wore a mask, partially covered by an unruly head of black hair.

It was me.

A hand clamped viciously around my arm, hauling me from my nightmare and out of bed. Another hand grabbed my hair and forced my head into a bucket of ice-cold water. The hands released me and I thrashed madly, knocking over the bucket. I coughed and spluttered. I blinked, and noticed Slade standing over me. His mask didn't reveal much, but I could tell that he was displeased.

"You're late," he snarled.

"For what?" I choked on the words, horrified at my own tone.

Slade dealt a swift kick to my cast, sending a flash of agony rocketing through my arm. I screamed, bending over it, tears stinging my eyes.

"Get up," he ordered ruthlessly, throwing a sling for my cast at me. I did as he said, my breathing still broken as I tried to suppress the pain consuming my arm. I slid my arm into the sling, trying to ignore the tremors of pain spreading through it.

I followed him silently down the winding corridor, my stomach twisting in knots. Whatever he would do to me, I could handle. I would live. I kept trying to tell myself that, but thinking about it only increased my nervousness.

He opened an obscure door and led me down three flights of stairs. Our footsteps echoed hollowly on the metal steps as we made our descent. The stairs weren't narrow, for which I was very grateful, but the staircase itself was very dim. A few weak lights rested on the walls at random intervals, but even they weren't enough to light the stairs easily.

I wanted to see the sun. Right then, I would have even settled for a brightly-lit room. Slade lived in almost complete darkness. One would think I'd be used to it after our time together, but I wasn't. There was something… human about the sun. Here, it was nothing but darkness and coldness. There weren't any places I had been that felt _less_ human than this one. Of course, what could I expect, living with a man who was less than human himself?

Not even Batman's cave was as inhumane as here. There was always the sound of running water present, reminding me of life, not to mention the bats that lived there. Here, everything was deathly quiet.

Slade threw open a thick, metal door and I hurried in after him, the door slamming shut behind me with a resounding crash. I opened and closed my eyes several times. The room was in absolute darkness. I looked to both sides, but I still couldn't make out anything. I took a hesitant step forward, but was halted by Slade's harsh voice.

"Stay there." I obeyed and heard his footsteps draw farther away from me. I heard a soft click, and several television screens flickered to life in front of me. I squinted in the sudden blue light, waiting for my eyes to adjust.

Slade pressed a small, black remote into my hands. "Hit three once I'm gone," he instructed. "I'll expect a full report from you when I get back. With your arm as it is, I can hardly send you out and expect you to come back without further injuries. The cast would be a hindrance to you," he sneered.

I felt immensely relieved as soon as he left the room. His fury had still not diminished. I couldn't say I blamed him. I had read something exceedingly personal to him. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what the rest of his journal contained. It was a dangerous curiosity; one I would never try to satiate.

I sat down in the single wooden chair. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearably so. I pressed the third button, as Slade had said to. The remote slipped from my fingers as the televisions came to life. I was stunned at what I saw. Somehow, Slade had managed to place cameras in… Titan's Tower. My shocked mind couldn't comprehend how he had done it, much less when. I only sat, staring in horror at the televisions.

It seemed as if not much had changed since I left. Beast Boy and Cyborg had barricaded themselves on the couch, and were playing a video game. There were enough snacks piled around them to feed a small army. Raven was floating near a window, her eyes closed. I could almost hear her chanting, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" in her monotonous voice.

My hands tightened on my chair in a panic. Where was Starfire? I leaned forward, my heart thundering in my chest, but I couldn't find her on any of the screens.

Slade! He had taken her! There was no other explanation. He was mad at me, and he had killed her to punish me.

_Think rationally, Robin,_ I said to myself. _When would he have time to do that?_ I leaned back in my chair, but didn't loosen my grip on it. It was all I could do to remain sitting. My anger at Slade flared even hotter than before, but—

My breath shuddered out of me in relief. There she was. She entered the tower with a blonde girl, whom I could only assume was Terra.

I watched them in silence, absorbing everything they did, every movement they made. I wished desperately that I could hear their voices. My longing to be there with them grew so strong it hurt. I tried to ignore the tears forming in my eyes. Finally, I lost the battle and I let them run unchecked down my face.

Three years. I had been away from them for three years. Three years living with a cruel tyrant, who was now taunting me with memories of the past. He knew how much it hurt to watch the people I had come to love go about their lives as if I had never existed. It was obvious they never needed me in the first place, but my heart yearned to be with them; but to betray Slade would mean their deaths.

I choked on the lump in my throat, burying my face in my hand. When would it end? Would he ever let me go?

Of course not. I would be chained in this dim dungeon, living off scraps of empty memories with a madman as my jailer for all of eternity.

How could he be this cruel, this cold-hearted, to dangle what I wanted more than anything in the world right in front of my face, knowing I could never have it again?

Eventually, the tears stopped. Eventually, I would forget how to feel. I'd be an empty shell. My mind was slowly breaking. I wondered dully if Slade even noticed it. His mind was already long gone, and it wouldn't be too long before I lost the will to care for my own life. No one would mourn me if I died, except, perhaps, the lunatic that had caused my death in the first place.

It was oddly… fitting that I would die alone; but, if I died, Slade would win. My friends would die. I was the only reason he kept them alive.

I wondered if I'd ever get to tell them how sorry I was and how much I cared for them. I feared I never would.


End file.
